Do you See that bull’s eye behind my back?
Types of injection
An injection (unlike a hematic sample) is the introduction of a substance within an organism with curative or diagnostic purposes (although some primitive people also use it to cause death) through the use of a reservoir containing the substance (syringe) and a hypodermic needle.
There are three main modes of administration
Since, I suppose, you want clarification about the intramuscular injection, I’m going to focus only briefly on the first two to be more specific about the last one.
During the intravenous injection a large-bore needle is inserted into a vein easily accessible in the elbow (medial cubital vein or basilic vein) or in the back of the hand (dorsal metacarpal veins). Although, in extreme cases, our body is full of venous access useful almost in every part.
In the subcutaneous injection the drug is injected into the subcutis by a short, small-bore needle, with an inclination of 45° to the skin.
The intramuscular injection is the direct introduction of a drug into a large muscle group (generally the gluteal muscle of the buttock, but also the deltoid or the vastus medialis) and it must be performed following a specific procedure.
Intramuscular injection for dummies
Pick a large muscle group —the buttock is usually fine— and divide it into four sections, choosing the lower outer quadrant (this choice is dictated by the need to avoid the sciatic nerve and because there is usually more fat).
You should choose a syringe that can easily hold the liquid in the vial (10 ml are enough, but you want to avoid those with 5 ml capacity, because it’s likely that you’ll be duped). Then, have the person lie down or ask your victim to remain standing with the hands resting on the table, tell her/him to move her/his knickers aside and then, proceed to open the vial with the thumb and forefinger (you can use a handkerchief to prevent you yourself from needing medical care).
Next, remove the needle’s cap and introduce the needle into the vial without touching the bottom (you don’t want to blunt it and consequently swearing like a trooper). Draw the plunger back by rotating the vial to the top and the syringe down so that you may capture every drop of the drug.
Since you are an insecure Godzilla, you’ll definitely draw at least 10 cc of air into the syringe, therefore, you should press the plunger gently until all the air is removed, tapping with your finger the air bubbles that your senile tremors have created.
Next, hold the syringe with your dominant hand and with the other take the cotton ball soaked in disinfectant, that you had previously prepared (any disinfectant is good, except pure alcohol and chlorinated compounds). Clean the area gently and, prior to stick the needle into the muscle, GIVE A SHARP JAB WITH THE COTTON BALL: the unsuspecting “patient” will believe that that was the injection, will relax the buttock, AND ONLY THEN YOU’LL HIT.
The shot must be firm and given at a distance: the needle will sink without problems and the person almost won’t notice it. To ensure that the drug is not injected into a large venous-arterial vessel, you have to draw the plunger back slowly and, if the solution won’t get red coulored, you can proceed to a slow but steady injection.
When finished, place the cotton on the hole, massaging a moment, then ask the “patient” to continue for a minute.
And now you are ready to diagnose Lupus…